FL047
"JUST IN TIME"
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DATELINE: SUEZ CANAL
(March 29, 2021 / the end of the world)
Fellow passengers, it’s another beautiful day in the Limoverse. The sun rises over the Sinai Peninsula and our timing couldn’t be better. Piles of treasure as far as the eye can see! Batteries! Hazmat suits! Catalytic converters! Mephedrone! RAM! SPAM! Thunder sweaters! Panic socks! Vast and trunkless, all of it, just lying here in the dunes.
As we scavenge for supplies, a morning market report crackles to life on the Limo’s AM dial: Bolo ties are up 3.25 points on last week’s announcement of Western mayhem and nonfungible lederhosen shrugged off an early drop to climb steadily for a fifth consecutive week. Buoyed, we trade both for easy sheet-tray turkey tetrazzini, which we throw into the sea, prompting a feeding frenzy. Triggerfish report a 200,000% gain. Two-thirds of shrimp worldwide now hold short positions in novelty breakfast cereal, according to industry analysts. This figure is expected to rise.
And rise it shall, because spring tides! Blockchain! Dredgecoin! Buy!
Buy buy buy:
Buy buy buy buy:
Buy buy buy buy buy:
BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY:
The lone and level sands, ever given.
